Let Yourself Feel
by jackiez32
Summary: She was a workaholic and simply denied herself any distractions...well except for that one, annoying CMO. Oneshot. McCoy/OC.


Thump thump thumpthump thump

Sara felt her heart beat. It was strong and steady, exactly the opposite of how she was currently feeling. That was probably why she was running like she was being hunted. Her footsteps were dull thuds against the floor of the simulator. The screen before her showed a long path, the grain of the field rippling in the wind. She felt so alone, isolated from everything and everyone on this godforsaken ship. The memories flooded her mind as she tried to block them out. Last night had been a mistake. One very big, pigheaded mistake.

A lingering touch, watchful eyes, that was where it had started. She had tried to ignore the incidents, but with every new encounter she became more invested in the problem. He hadn't meant anything more than the ordinary. It was just chance. Just a lonely helpful figure in the sea of space. These were the words she had repeated to herself in a vain attempt to cover any emotion.

Yet that was what had helped her to act selfishly last night. Emotion, loneliness, the cold feel of space, all of it had struck her at the worst moment possible. Another reason why she was running. She was lonely.

* * *

Sara had been working late again. It wasn't uncommon for her to be in the Sick Bay pushing into sleeping hours. She had nothing better to do, so she worked. As a part of her work at Starfleet she had decided to intern rather than write yet another thesis paper. It was because of this that Sara worked so hard. Like hell was she going to be seen as a lackey, having anything but perfect work. She went through the mountains of paperwork that perpetually accumulated on McCoy's desk, organized equipment, tended to patients and occasionally researched their newest organisms from surface visits.

She had just finished restocking all of the hypospray vials when she heard the whoosh of the automatic doors.

"For Chrissakes Sara! What are you still doing here? Your shift ended hours ago!" The unmistakable drawl of the CMO blasted past her.

"I had nothing better to be doing sir, so I stayed." She still hadn't turned around, slightly cautious of him. Things had been getting weirder lately, and she needed to keep her head clear of any distracting superiors.

He sighed, "Sara, you can't keep doing this to yourself," he stated walking towards her, "I won't allow it."

"With all due respect sir, I really appreciate your concern, but-" she turned towards him, having a desperate need to be understood.

"But what?"

"…but I really think this is my business. What I do with my time concerns no one but me, especially if I am doing what I can to help the Enterprise, _Sir_." Eyes flashing she stood her ground, heart daring him to push the issue, even though part of her begged for him to go away and not exist.

"You are my concern, and what you do with your time _does_ matter. Especially when I am the Chief Medical officer of this ship and you are working under my discretion." Bones was not happy. Sara couldn't tell if she had crossed the line, but she knew that she was damn close. His words made sense, but she couldn't see that. All she wanted to see was an empty space, devoid of people, especially of pestering CMO's.

"Sara?"

She pushed past him in her state of emotional confusion, not wanting to deal with this right now. She had almost gotten to the doors when her arm was forcefully grabbed from behind. She swung around, face like a darkening thundercloud. Before she could speak McCoy had her pinned in his arms. She pushed and pulled, just trying to escape from him. He was like a stone, solid and immoveable.

"Stop. You aren't helping anyone."

His words again made more sense than she would care to admit. Slowly her struggling ceased, leaving her in the awkward position of being held in her superior's arms. This should have been her heaven, pinned against McCoy, alone in the Sick Bay. Yet now she could do nothing but stare at his chest like a scolded child.

Thumpthump thump thumpthump

She felt his heartbeat, strong and steady. Her eyes lifted to his, finally looking at him. In all her time on the Enterprise she had avoided looking at him as if the lack of eye contact would make him disappear from her reality. He was supposed to be her enemy, the only distraction she had allowed herself. His face was calm, almost relaxed if not for the concern in his eyes. She just looked, taking it all in. Her eyes met his, her desperation seeing his genuine concern. Nothing needed to be said.

She opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't seem to find the words. In that moment of indecision McCoy dipped his head down to capture her lips. It was a simple motion, but Sara was timid, and everything was so overly complicated between them. Slowly she kissed him back, finally abandoning all reason and letting herself go. McCoy wove his fingers through her hair, wanting for any physical connection with her. The kiss inevitably deepened as the pair wound themselves together. They had found comfort, something so rare in the abyss of space.

* * *

A/N: Just a oneshot…for now. I may continue it if I find inspiration (and encouraging reviews). I'm not an expert on all things Star Trek, so let me know if something is horridly wrong :D. I love reviews as much as the next person, so go on…REVIEW!

And Remember: it's fan fiction; written by a fan and its fiction. (So no roasting me alive under your broilers).


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